Civity, to me, is all about connection.
A few months into my internship with Civity, I realized how easy it is to practice civity and connecting. I had just moved to a new city, and was scared of feeling alone. In fact, I moved to one of the largest U.S. cities in existence – Los Angeles, California.
I was waiting in the elevator in my new apartment complex when a young woman walked in. Usually, this is when I pull out my phone to avoid awkward eye contact. This time, I decided to practice civity. She was carrying an iced coffee, which happens to be my favorite beverage, so I asked where she purchased it. Next thing I know, she is detailing all of her favorite Los Angeles coffee shops for me. When the elevator landed on my floor I expressed my gratitude and left. I now see her from time-to-time throughout our apartment complex. We always stop for a moment to say hello, and catch up about coffee. I decided to engage in a small, otherwise meaningless conversation, and gained my first acquaintance in the large city of LA. I also gained confidence. Practicing civity can be small, but the benefits are large. I now have made genuine friendships in the city by simply sparking human connections.
As I’m nearing the end of my Internship, I realize the importance of practicing civity even more. Throughout the pandemic, I fostered an online community of people who care about their health and wellness. The community mainly lives on social media. Social media can be a great tool for connection, when used correctly. Once I gained confidence in practicing civity in the real world, I knew I needed to bring it into my online community as well. I started utilizing social media features, such as the Instagram Question Box, to get to know my community better. More and more people started writing in personal stories, or questions needing advice. I answered these questions and shared their stories publicly. My community grew larger, but more importantly it grew deeper. I was no longer only trying to find people who already shared my interests, which caused me to miss out on actually seeing people’s full humanity. Instead, I am now trying to connect with anyone open to connecting. This civity shift has helped me to stop, look, and really see those around me.
I had quite the full circle moment when I was grocery shopping at a popular market in LA. A stranger approached me and began expressing her love of my Instagram. I had never met this girl before, but we debated for 30 minutes in the middle of an Erewhon Market about matcha versus coffee. This stranger became yet another Los Angeles friend, all because we were open to connecting regardless of our differences.
I will continue to practice civity forever, because of the unique friendships and connections it has already given me in a short two semesters-long internship.